First, yes, I know a song that has they lyric "I'm not really that fat" in it. Its from NOFX's Theme From a NOFX Album. I'd prefer if you wouldn't google the rest of the lyrics. I know no one wants to read a post where I basically call myself fat again (possible exception: Julie. She'll like calling me a fatty.) but that's what you're getting. For the entire month of September, my scale has told me I've weighed at least 183 pounds every morning. Adjusting for the fact that my scale is light and I've probably been greater than 186 for the entire month and most likely have been pushing 190. Seeing as how I'd like to be at around 175, you can see where this is a problem. I've gotten back into lifting and have been hitting the gym three times a week at 6:30 in the morning to start packing on some muscle. I'm still trying to run a couple of times a week or so too, but so far, that's very much been hit and miss. Going to the gym has been nice and while muscle may be made there, unfortunately, it gets defined in the kitchen. I have struggled there. In fact, I may have made apple pie cupcakes earlier today whose base is a cinnamon roll. They're not fantastic, but certainly not bad. I've already had four. Now you know why I'm fat. There's a reason my last roommate called me the skinniest fat guy he knew.
I do see this as a problem though since I don't particularly like how I look in pictures right now so I'll need to find a way to drop the weight again. Actually, the weight's not the problem. I've got a gut that shows up and my chest isn't as tight as I'd like it to be so if I just change that, I'll be fine. To get there, I'm strongly considering taking a dietbet and putting my money where my mouth shouldn't be and now making it actually hurt if I don't back it up. The hardest part of this will be asking Lindsey to stop baking because she's really, really good at it and I don't want to discourage this in any way. At least I'll die fat and happy.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
I am too weak to be your cure
This is a post I've imagined writing for a long time, but I never thought I actually would. I'm currently reading Speak, a young adult novel by Laurie Anderson about a girl entering high school who was raped the previous summer and essentially loses her voice because she can't talk about it. So yeah, this post is about rape culture. A few of my friends have posted things on facebook about rape culture and I always had some negative reaction to it. I always felt this need to defend myself - to let people know that this is never something I would do. Obviously, its not. I'm a 32 year old virgin. Several people have let it be known that they'd be willing to sleep with me and I haven't taken them up on it so why would I ever feel the need to take it from someone that's not willing? Why do I bring this up? Because rape culture is too prevalent in our society and its simply not fucking okay. Roughly half of the women I've dated have been survivors of some sort of sexual assault, ranging from verbal assault to straight out rape. If you're curious to who has and who hasn't, I'm not going to tell you that because that's not my story to tell. Just know this: I know way too many people (women and men) who have been subjected to this and I feel absolutely awful for anyone who has suffered through this.
The first time I dealt with it was when I was driving back home with her in my car and Sublime's Date Rape came on the radio. Its a song about a man who commits date rape but gets his comeuppance and is sent to jail and gets raped himself. Halfway through the song she broke down and started crying. I had no idea anything had happened and had no idea how to react. I still wouldn't know what to say. What can you possibly say to anyone who has suffered through such ugliness? A few years later, I remember a girlfriend telling me that she had been raped and just discussing the basic details of it. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just hugged her because I had no idea what else to do and my heart broke for her. It had been several years but she could still let me know when it was the same day that it had happened. The first emotional response I had was anger but there was nothing I could do with it. I'm still not sure what I can do other than be an advocate for anyone who's been strong enough to fight through this.
Honestly, I'm not sure how to end this post. There has to be something more out there that can be done for those who have suffered at the hands of the scum of the earth. I want to do more.
The first time I dealt with it was when I was driving back home with her in my car and Sublime's Date Rape came on the radio. Its a song about a man who commits date rape but gets his comeuppance and is sent to jail and gets raped himself. Halfway through the song she broke down and started crying. I had no idea anything had happened and had no idea how to react. I still wouldn't know what to say. What can you possibly say to anyone who has suffered through such ugliness? A few years later, I remember a girlfriend telling me that she had been raped and just discussing the basic details of it. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just hugged her because I had no idea what else to do and my heart broke for her. It had been several years but she could still let me know when it was the same day that it had happened. The first emotional response I had was anger but there was nothing I could do with it. I'm still not sure what I can do other than be an advocate for anyone who's been strong enough to fight through this.
Honestly, I'm not sure how to end this post. There has to be something more out there that can be done for those who have suffered at the hands of the scum of the earth. I want to do more.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Break the moment into something more than gold
Everything in life is basically falling into the categories of either school or Lindsey and that's pretty sweet, but it doesn't give me a lot of stuff about which to blog. On a side note, making sure you don't end a sentence with a preposition just makes it sound like you had to reword the sentence simply so you wouldn't end with a preposition. I'm coming back to an old favorite post because I've spent a decent amount of time daydreaming about all the places that I want to travel to. I'm breaking out the old Top ten places I've visited/Top ten places to go. Trust me, the list of places to go is significantly longer than this. It wasn't tremendously difficult to narrow it down to the top ten though. That said, I will remember some places I missed and there will be near-constant addendums to this list. Before I change it again,
Top Ten Places I've Visited:
1) New York - If there weren't a money issue, I would LOVE to live in New York for a few years.
2) Sydney - Still my gold standard for international travel. Ignore the naysayers pointing out my lack of passport stamps.
3) The Pacific Northwest - I couldn't find a way to separate Portland and Seattle. This should be higher but I can't find a way to bump it up.
4) Denver - I would move to Denver in a heartbeat and be immensely happy.
5) Utah - So incredibly beautiful and a hiker's dream.
6) Chicago - This may be a little high but it scored very well with sentimentality points.
7) Washington DC - If you come back from DC without being wowed, its your own fault.
8) Grand Rapids - This may very well take over Chicago's spot in the next few years. There's a lot of good going on up there.
9) Cairns (Australia) - Oceans and mountains. Yes.
10) The Great Smoky Mountains - This would be higher if I would've spent more time in a city better than Gatlinburg.
Las Vegas fell way off the list just because I don't have the same wonder attached to it that I used to. I'm surprised San Diego fell off as well, but its just been too long since I've been there and its too expensive to go back. It's just off the list, as is Boston. L.A. would be on the list if it wasn't so spread out. The Grand Canyon will rightfully claim a spot as soon as I hike it instead of just having looked at it. Mammoth Cave would have made the list if they'd let me explore it solo.
Top Ten Places to Visit:
1) Belize - Central America is high on the To Visit list and Belize wins out because they predominantly speak English.
2) Acadia National Park - This will be the highlight of a huge hiking trip in the Northeast.
3) Italy - Like Acadia, this was a trip that was briefly planned in the past.
4) South Africa - If only the flights weren't so expensive....
5) Hawaii - Everyone I want to convince to go there has already been. I'm jealous of all of you.
6) Costa Rica - I need to learn Spanish.
7) Greece - Most likely to be done on that same trip where I tour Italy.
8) The top of Half-Dome - A comparison between this and Zion National Park would be amazing. This is obviously dependent on winning the hiking permit lottery.
9) Argentina - This is the mystery spot as I'm not sure what I'd expect from traveling there, but it holds a certain allure.
10) Tie - Mt. Kiliminjaro/Machu Picchu - If you need an explanation, we aren't friends.
Others that were cut from the list that were close were New Zealand, everywhere in Australia I haven't yet been, Germany and New Orleans.
Top Ten Places I've Visited:
1) New York - If there weren't a money issue, I would LOVE to live in New York for a few years.
2) Sydney - Still my gold standard for international travel. Ignore the naysayers pointing out my lack of passport stamps.
3) The Pacific Northwest - I couldn't find a way to separate Portland and Seattle. This should be higher but I can't find a way to bump it up.
4) Denver - I would move to Denver in a heartbeat and be immensely happy.
5) Utah - So incredibly beautiful and a hiker's dream.
6) Chicago - This may be a little high but it scored very well with sentimentality points.
7) Washington DC - If you come back from DC without being wowed, its your own fault.
8) Grand Rapids - This may very well take over Chicago's spot in the next few years. There's a lot of good going on up there.
9) Cairns (Australia) - Oceans and mountains. Yes.
10) The Great Smoky Mountains - This would be higher if I would've spent more time in a city better than Gatlinburg.
Las Vegas fell way off the list just because I don't have the same wonder attached to it that I used to. I'm surprised San Diego fell off as well, but its just been too long since I've been there and its too expensive to go back. It's just off the list, as is Boston. L.A. would be on the list if it wasn't so spread out. The Grand Canyon will rightfully claim a spot as soon as I hike it instead of just having looked at it. Mammoth Cave would have made the list if they'd let me explore it solo.
Top Ten Places to Visit:
1) Belize - Central America is high on the To Visit list and Belize wins out because they predominantly speak English.
2) Acadia National Park - This will be the highlight of a huge hiking trip in the Northeast.
3) Italy - Like Acadia, this was a trip that was briefly planned in the past.
4) South Africa - If only the flights weren't so expensive....
5) Hawaii - Everyone I want to convince to go there has already been. I'm jealous of all of you.
6) Costa Rica - I need to learn Spanish.
7) Greece - Most likely to be done on that same trip where I tour Italy.
8) The top of Half-Dome - A comparison between this and Zion National Park would be amazing. This is obviously dependent on winning the hiking permit lottery.
9) Argentina - This is the mystery spot as I'm not sure what I'd expect from traveling there, but it holds a certain allure.
10) Tie - Mt. Kiliminjaro/Machu Picchu - If you need an explanation, we aren't friends.
Others that were cut from the list that were close were New Zealand, everywhere in Australia I haven't yet been, Germany and New Orleans.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Hey Joe, where you gonna run to now?
All right, its my monthly update on my goals for the year, just encompassing both July and August this time.
1) Work harder. I wish. I've put on 15 pounds since the start of June and I don't like it. I did get some work done on looking at the stability regions of SDC algorithms, just nothing useful yet, unfortunately. At least the physical stuff I'm working on. I've started lifting again at AU's gym just to I can throw around some actual weight. I definitely needed the bigger weights to start doing leg lifts again because I was disappointed in the size of my legs in some of the cabin pictures. I've also officially signed up for the Flying Pig marathon in May, so hopefully that'll kick my ass and get me running again.
2) Play harder. This has a direct link to my failures at working harder. I hiked Multnomah Falls near Portland. I hiked in Bellingham. I hiked Red River gorge. I hiked parts of Mammoth Cave. I kayaked in Northern Indiana. I had a voodoo doughnut. I talked about triathlons with a gay Jewish Alabaman firefighter named Dakota.
3) Travel more - Portland, Bellingham, Seattle, Kentucky (twice), Menninga Island. Check and check.
4) Read more. This has gone pretty well. I finished The Book Thief and I may have cried at the end. Judge me all you want. If that ending doesn't move you, you're dead inside. I've also finished Alex Stone's Fooling Houdini, Marie Lu's Prodigy, Nick Cave's The Death of Bunny Munro (just awful), Patricia Highsmith's The Talented Mr. Ripley, Neal Shusterman's Unwind and I'm currently working on Slavomir Rawicz's The Long Walk.
5) Drink better beer. Very much a success. All sorts of good stuff in Portland and Bellingham. Lisa brought a bunch of very legit stuff out to the cabin. I've had Sierra Nevada in my fridge for the past month. I even had a black and blue at the Carraig with Brooke last week. It's been delightful these past two months.
1) Work harder. I wish. I've put on 15 pounds since the start of June and I don't like it. I did get some work done on looking at the stability regions of SDC algorithms, just nothing useful yet, unfortunately. At least the physical stuff I'm working on. I've started lifting again at AU's gym just to I can throw around some actual weight. I definitely needed the bigger weights to start doing leg lifts again because I was disappointed in the size of my legs in some of the cabin pictures. I've also officially signed up for the Flying Pig marathon in May, so hopefully that'll kick my ass and get me running again.
2) Play harder. This has a direct link to my failures at working harder. I hiked Multnomah Falls near Portland. I hiked in Bellingham. I hiked Red River gorge. I hiked parts of Mammoth Cave. I kayaked in Northern Indiana. I had a voodoo doughnut. I talked about triathlons with a gay Jewish Alabaman firefighter named Dakota.
3) Travel more - Portland, Bellingham, Seattle, Kentucky (twice), Menninga Island. Check and check.
4) Read more. This has gone pretty well. I finished The Book Thief and I may have cried at the end. Judge me all you want. If that ending doesn't move you, you're dead inside. I've also finished Alex Stone's Fooling Houdini, Marie Lu's Prodigy, Nick Cave's The Death of Bunny Munro (just awful), Patricia Highsmith's The Talented Mr. Ripley, Neal Shusterman's Unwind and I'm currently working on Slavomir Rawicz's The Long Walk.
5) Drink better beer. Very much a success. All sorts of good stuff in Portland and Bellingham. Lisa brought a bunch of very legit stuff out to the cabin. I've had Sierra Nevada in my fridge for the past month. I even had a black and blue at the Carraig with Brooke last week. It's been delightful these past two months.
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