I am too weak to be your cure

This is a post I've imagined writing for a long time, but I never thought I actually would.  I'm currently reading Speak, a young adult novel by Laurie Anderson about a girl entering high school who was raped the previous summer and essentially loses her voice because she can't talk about it.  So yeah, this post is about rape culture.  A few of my friends have posted things on facebook about rape culture and I always had some negative reaction to it.  I always felt this need to defend myself - to let people know that this is never something I would do.  Obviously, its not.  I'm a 32 year old virgin.  Several people have let it be known that they'd be willing to sleep with me and I haven't taken them up on it so why would I ever feel the need to take it from someone that's not willing?  Why do I bring this up?  Because rape culture is too prevalent in our society and its simply not fucking okay.  Roughly half of the women I've dated have been survivors of some sort of sexual assault, ranging from verbal assault to straight out rape.  If you're curious to who has and who hasn't, I'm not going to tell you that because that's not my story to tell.  Just know this: I know way too many people (women and men) who have been subjected to this and I feel absolutely awful for anyone who has suffered through this.

The first time I dealt with it was when I was driving back home with her in my car and Sublime's Date Rape came on the radio.  Its a song about a man who commits date rape but gets his comeuppance and is sent to jail and gets raped himself.  Halfway through the song she broke down and started crying.  I had no idea anything had happened and had no idea how to react.  I still wouldn't know what to say.  What can you possibly say to anyone who has suffered through such ugliness?  A few years later, I remember a girlfriend telling me that she had been raped and just discussing the basic details of it.  I couldn't think of anything to say so I just hugged her because I had no idea what else to do and my heart broke for her.  It had been several years but she could still let me know when it was the same day that it had happened.  The first emotional response I had was anger but there was nothing I could do with it.  I'm still not sure what I can do other than be an advocate for anyone who's been strong enough to fight through this.

Honestly, I'm not sure how to end this post.  There has to be something more out there that can be done for those who have suffered at the hands of the scum of the earth.  I want to do more.