Will you ever shut up?

Based on the fact that I'm down to posting every two weeks or so, I've actually given serious consideration to giving up writing on this blog.  This used to be my release; the place I could to go to air my grievances as well as all of my successes and still have relative anonymity.  I gave up the original Xanga blog because everyone else stopped blogging.  I restarted this because I liked writing because it gave me a way to release and just get all of my feelings out.  I'm not going to lie, it was cool when other people cared, but I didn't make a big deal of it when I switched over to blogspot.  I'm 34 and writing about the basics of my life.  I'm actually surprised you care as much as you do to keep checking this as often as you do.  My audience consists of my family, my fiancee and possibly a couple of friends.  Even then, most of my friends are getting married and so allegiances are shifting.  It's sad because I no longer rank as highly with them as I used to but its certainly not sad for them as someone else is taking on a huge role in their life.  That's the hard part for me now.  I'm not writing as much for myself anymore because I have Lindsey to be my sounding board.  Things don't rattle around in my brain as much because I can talk to her about anything.  I don't have as many friends reading this as I did in the Xanga days but that's okay.  It is sad though that I have actually lost touch with many of my friends.  One of the things I was ruminating over the other day while feeling down was how many good friends I've had that I no longer keep in contact with.  Over my life, at various times, I've had these people as my best friend for at least a year or more: Brad, George, Brian, Luke, Jon, Lisa, Scott, Cheryl, Steph and Lindsey.  Of those 10, I'm marrying Lindsey while Luke is my best man and Jon will be standing right beside him in my wedding.  The other seven likely won't be invited.  What's even more sad is that there's a couple ex-girlfriends that I dated for a significant time that didn't crack that list.  So yeah, life moves on an things change and we can't hold on to the past and I get stuck between missing the past and trying to do my best for the future.  Back to the point - no, I won't be giving up this blog.  The entries might keep getting scarcer, but I'm not giving it up now.  I've got 3 weeks left in the semester and if nothing else, I don't want to give up the summer goal list.  Its hard for me to believe this is the 12th year I'll be doing it but I've got some kickass goals coming up and this may finally be the year I have the summer of my dreams.  Stay tuned...