Work sucks, I know

Can you use sarcasm font for a title?  I just want to make that clear - work doesn't suck and I love what I do, but I definitely need to get back to it.

While the past couple of weeks were spent just waiting for spring break to get here, I'm a little glad its nearly done now and I can get back to the grind, as it gives me direction and focus.  The hiking was great, but besides that, I didn't accomplish much.  My most meaningful face to face conversation lasted about three minutes and it was with a restaurant manager.  I haven't done a single push-up or pull-up and this morning's four mile run was the first run since the previous Thursday.  If I hadn't already paid for everything, marathon training would be in serious jeopardy as I've missed so many runs.  I've got essentially the next five Sundays to turn this from half-marathon training into marathon training.  That's something that should be done over six weeks in a worst case scenario and I'm trying to do it in four.  I will officially just be trying to finish when I run it that May morning.

I did get a good story out of this morning's run though.  I cut a six miler short to four miles because I was having lung issues and probably shouldn't have been drinking during last night's Iowa game, but whatever.  I'm walking those last two miles back when I see a Dodge Magnum pull up near me and the window rolls down.  I see its a black woman in probably her mid-to-upper 30s.  The way it came about, I assume she's going to ask for directions or something.  Instead, she tells me,
"You look like a marine or something."
I'm still expecting a question but don't get so it takes me a second to respond with,
"Nope, just out for a morning run."
"Where's your wife?"
"Don't have one."
"Do you need one?"
(Laughs) "No, I'm good. I've got a girlfriend."
(She laughs) "Darn. Well, never know if you don't ask. Have a good day."
"Have a good day."
And then I walk away with my morning made and that big stupid grin that I get when I can't help but to be happy.  Further, if you're going to hit on me, that marine line is a pretty good one.

I wanna be your dangerous side effect

This is my first post in March because for the first two weeks, my singular focus was to get through all job-related stresses and just make it to spring break.  Since then, I've actually been on spring break.  Now I'm laying in a hotel room in Lynchburg and all that's left is a stop at Chick-Fil-A for breakfast and an eight hour drive home.  When I get back, there'll be a lovely girlfriend waiting for me, as well as a whole lot of grading and prep work and the Iowa game is tomorrow too.  I am very happy I made it out here though.  The hike at Conkles Hollow was quite nice, as were yesterday's hikes of Humpback Rocks, Crabtree Falls, and Spy Rock, despite the wind and 30 degree temps.  Tuesday's hike of Old Rag was everything I could have asked for, made even better that I went on a Tuesday morning in March and basically had the place to myself.  Somehow, someway, that hike was even better than Angel's Landing.  It didn't have the spots of instant death that Angel's Landing did, but I think it required more actual hiking/rock scrambling skill.  That's a hike that I will always be willing to come back and do until I physically can't.  I am looking forward to the day that I get to do more of these hikes with people, especially if its like my forays into National Parks with Luke, where you still the quiet and serene and solitude because you're enjoying the surroundings, but still get to share the moment with someone else.  Also, you don't have to go eat by yourself, which would be better.

So what?

I fully admit that I monitor the Feedjit app that's on the side of this page.  Hey, a guy needs to know if his readership has increased to double digits yet or not. (Doubtful).  I know who most of the regulars are from Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Washington.  There's one in Michigan I'm not sure on but I could make an educated guess about it.  I no longer have that one guy from Finland who was showing up pretty frequently for about a month.  I guess my posts just stopped being interesting to him.  However, about a week ago, I had a visitor from Indianapolis (not sure who, but I have a guess), who specifically was directed to one of my posts through google.  Namely, it was my post about East of Eden and timshel and achieving greatness.  I didn't think much of it, but if someone's going to see just a random post, that's one I would happily share.

The timing of this actually became pretty coincidental when AU had their Special Olympics chapel and had Carl Erskine (as in Anderson resident and former Brooklyn Dodger great Carl Erskine) give the message.  For a dude that's approaching 90 with a couple of world series rings, he's doing pretty well and he has a heck of a lot more general life experience than I do. His message was on the same topic, albeit much better spoken.  His main topic was "So what?" From all of the things from his life, what was it that truly had meaning and made a difference.  He brought this up as his youngest son has Down's Syndrome and he compared the increasing acceptance of handicapped athletes to watching how Jackie Robinson and non-whites in general were eventually accepted in MLB.  With this though, he reminded us that people aren't going to remember what you did or what you said, but they'll remember exactly how you made them feel.  That got me to thinking about how I'll be remembered, which isn't something a 33 year old really worries about too much.  On that day, I wasn't really sure. I've had a few students come back and tell me good things, but self doubt always creeps in a little bit during the rough patches.  Yesterday though, I got to celebrate my birthday with my family and Lindsey and just being around people like that that love me dearly was enough to put those doubts back for a while.  It was a good day all around.

Also, a quick update on my goals.  So far, no epic life moments yet, but the half dome permit lottery opens tomorrow so cross your fingers for me.  Pushups and pullups are going pathetically.  I'll finish February doing less than half of what I should have for the month so I'm even further behind.  Running was going well until I tweaked my ankle last week.  I was able to get out this morning and knock out four miles so hopefully I can get back on track fairly quickly.  The 10 days off though probably cost me about 30 miles.

I think I'm on a roll

I never post enough when I'm happy.  I don't know why, but it just always seems to work out this way.  The last two weeks have been rather good.  I did well on Valentine's Day, well enough, in fact, that at lunch today, the married guys told me that it was a rookie mistake and now big things will be expected of me on future occasions.  The school year has been a little bit of a grind, but that was expected based on the dryness of the classes I have this semester, but so far, they've all gone at least as well as expected with a few being better.

Since this is life, none of it has been perfect obviously, and there are still some bad things, but they all at least have silver linings.  For example, all of my medical bills have come due and February has just been ridiculously expensive, but there is the upshot of the fact that I wasn't killed by roast beef and further, it looks like this year may not be too bad.  Instead of hitting my maximums like I was thinking might happen, there's a good chance I can keep this year's medical expenses under a grand.  Perhaps I can get a little bit more traveling in after all (or maybe not as there's a lot planned already).  I've documented that my auto expenses have been up over the last little bit as well (replaced headlight, brakes, battery; my struts aren't looking real great either), but as my Caliber has about 85000 miles on it and this is only the second time I've really had to do any maintenance with it, I'd say that's pretty darn good.  I am breaking my body again as I rolled an ankle pretty badly at volleyball on Wednesday.  It's turned a very lovely shade of purple right now.  This knocks me out of running for probably at least a week, but if there was any week for it to happen, this would be the week, because HAHAHA, there's absolutely no way I'm running in wind chills of 20 below.  Even I'm not that dumb - well, maybe I am, but now at least I have an excuse to not run and I don't feel bad about it.

In completely random news, no-booze February has become no-drinking-by-yourself February.  I'm also reading Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep which is one of the essential hardboiled novels, you know, one of those you should be drinking with a whiskey in hand.  I have most of a handle of Whiskey available, but since I can't drink it during February, I have a conundrum.

So yeah, things are good.  I'm happy.  I am getting that spring break itch going though...

Then you'll know what Nitro means

A quick update on everything:

First, I got my car checked out and now the noises have stopped.  Somehow, it was being caused by my brakes being trash, as so aptly described by my mechanic.  That set me back a tidy little sum, but its better than having them fail.

Second, health stuff is starting to all come together.  I had a get to know you meeting with my doctor, but hey, at least I have a personal physician now.  I'll have to go back and actually get a physical and a tetanus shot soon.  She referred me to a GI doctor and I have a meeting with them on Wednesday to see what's causing my EE.

Third, classes are in full swing now.  I gave my first Stats exam on Thursday and will be grading it tonight.  The first Discrete exam is Monday while Finite gets an exam on Thursday and Algebra gets one on Friday.  That'll make for a fun weekend.

Fourth, I've given up booze for February.  At least, I'm trying to.  So far, so good.  Hopefully, this gets me to drop a few pounds.  The body still looks pretty good even though the pushups and pullups are still going very poorly.

Fifth, I think I figured out spring break plans, assuming the weather isn't awful.  I'm hoping to hit up Hoosier Hill, the highest point in Indiana and I'm pretty sure its on a farm somewhere which tells you all you need to know about how I feel about Indiana hiking.  After that three minute stop, I'll be heading on to Conkles Hollow in Ohio for an afternoon before heading out to Virginia to hit up Old Rag/Humpback Rocks/Crabtree Falls/The Devils Marble Yard.  If that doesn't happen, I'll need to take on some project here else I'll get super bored.

Sixth, I don't think there's a sixth.

Breathe with me

I had a plan.  Last summer, I had a plan.  I was doing well financially and through a combination of things, I've been able to save/pay off debt roughly a quarter of my pre-tax salary while I've been out here.  I had about five grand left in student loan debt and my monthly payment was around $80.  Instead, I paid off all of it in six months and the plan was then to save up so I could make a 10-15% down payment on a house this summer.  I'd teach an extra class in the spring and a class or two in the summer and I'd do just as well, if not better, and I'd still have plenty of money for travel.  The first part of the plan went well.  I made it through December and became debt free.  Then everything kind of went to crap.  I had my trip to the ER which is going to run me a little over $2500 because hooray for a high deductible plan.  I really wish I had a sarcasm font.  This year, I should probably have my doctor refer me to a GI specialist so I can figure out what's causing my esophagitis.  Earlier this week, I got an EOB for my dentist visit and I'm not sure if this is correct, but its telling me I owe another $300+.  My car's engine decided to get loud about a month ago.  Its not running rough, but it certainly sounds like something's not right so I need to bring that in and see if something is wrong and I can't imagine that doesn't run me at least a couple of hundred bucks.  I know, this all could be worse, and I hate complaining, but this isn't how it was supposed to go.  I've prayed for financial well-being and maybe this is God's way of telling me to stop worrying about this and to just let him handle it instead of trying to deal with it all myself.  This may just be another of God's reminders that His plan is always better than mine.  I might not meant to be here forever.  Perhaps I am and I find a great deal on a house and everything works out as I hoped; perhaps nothing works out with Lindsey and the community out here doesn't develop and I leave next summer and move to California; perhaps everything works out with Lindsey and her call becomes incredibly clear and we move out to West Africa.  Who knows?  I need to keep myself open to God's plan instead of focusing on mine.  Its just that everything has gotten a little overwhelming since while I am very good with money, I do worry about it too often.  It doesn't help that all of this gets to me and I can see some of my traveling going by the wayside.  The trip out to the Northeast might be off already (possibly replaced) and my spring break hiking trip might be next, depending on my car's diagnosis.  The Northeast camping trip being canceled though does mean I will be at the cabin and Mom will still love me so that might not be a bad thing.  I apologize for this sounding whiny, but its just something that's been weighing on me for the past few weeks and blogging about it hopefully helps me let go and stop worrying.  All I can do is try to stop worrying, give it all up to God, take a few deep breaths and just relax and know that I'll be taken care of no matter what happens.  This feeling that I don't have any of my shit together whatsoever will pass soon enough.

This is quick but not quite painless

This morning, our chapel speaker spoke in honor of MLK Day and his main message was directed toward our students, letting them know that now is the time to act and if they wait longer, it'll be too late.  As we left, my colleague, who's a year younger than me, turned and asked me if we were still youth.  "Based on how much my body creaks and groans, I don't think so", I replied.  I'm not going to lie, I frequently just hurt, but that's all my own doing.  Setting my goals for pushups, pullups and miles may not have been terribly smart.  I'm not worried about the miles because marathon training should take care of a large chunk of that.  I'm similarly confident in the pushups because I feel like I could knock out 100 a day and do all of that in the last six months if necessary.  I'm a little more worried about the pullups since I'm falling behind already and an extra 20-25 pullups a day is a bigger deal than 60 extra pushups.  It doesn't help that I'm getting a ton of exercise in this semester.  Marathon training has me running four times a week, and with the exception of next Saturday, all of those runs will be at least five miles for the next couple of months.  I'm lifting on the days I don't run and then two hours of volleyball on Wednesday nights and I need to start doing yoga at least once a week and preferably twice.  I will either destroy my body doing this or I will finally, finally get cut if I can survive the work and be disciplined in eating.

I took yesterday off when realistically, I should have done some yoga since my legs are rather tight.  However, my next day off probably won't be until the first Saturday of spring break and even then, there's a good chance I spend eight or more hours of that day in a car driving to Virginia or Georgia or wherever I haven't been yet.  I'll get that week off from lifting and running long distance, but I'll still probably get in 20-30 miles of hiking because that's apparently what I do now, any time I get the opportunity.