My last scheduled hike for the summer required a little bit of fortitude. Roger and I drove out to Red River Gorge from Lexington on Sunday morning and pulled into the Bison Way trailhead around 9:30. Ten minutes into the hike out to the Indian Staircase, we turned around due to a lightning flash and rumbling thunder and the annoyance of the rain that came with it. We hung out in the car for about 40 minutes until everything passed by and made our way up to the staircase which presented a fun "scramble". We got to the top of the staircase and wandered around for a little bit before stumbling upon a really cool bluff and taking lunch underneath it. We started to make our way back to the staircase and lo and behold, the rain started to pick up before the thunder and lightning started back up. As we were about to descend an exposed rock face, we decided it would be best to run back to the bluff and wait out the storm there. We later learned how much better of an idea this was as there was a tornado warning in the area. We eventually made it back down the trail and back to the car but decided to forego the hike out to double arch due to the weather.
I have officially been bit by the hiking bug. There was the trip out to Vegas and Utah as well as sidetrips around St. Louis after coming back from Kansas City in addition to this trip out to Kentucky. I've still got a camping trip out to Mammoth Cave that will surely include some hiking, but nothing big. I'm headed out to Portland/Bellingham shortly and if possible, I'd like to knock out some hiking out there. The bigger issue though is all the hikes that I want to do. Heather and Mary will always tempt me to come out to Denver and I'd definitely do Longs Peak now. Just as tempting is Megan's invite to come hike Northern Utah with her. Uncle Bob and Aunt Bev have let me know that I've got everything I could need when I come down to hike New Mexico which I've wanted to do for a couple of years now. Add on the big trips I'd love to knock out next summer. First, another road trip with Luke, but this one ranging through the National Parks of Southern California which are King's Canyon, Sequoia, Death Valley, and Yosemite, where I'd conquer Half Dome if I could get the permit. Secondly, I'd love to do an epic hiking trip in the Northeast including some combination of Franconia Ridge, Mt. Mansfield, Mt. Washington, Katahdin, Cadillac Mountain and Acadia's Precipice Trail. That would also give me a chance to go visit Crystal near Boston and play around on a trapeze. On top of all that, include the return trips I want to do, such as going back to Gatlinburg to do the Boulevard route up to Mt. Cammerer and trying out the Via Ferrata hiking in Red River Gorge. This would all be impossible to do next summer assuming I teach in June and July again. Heck, it might not be doable even if I had the entire summer free and significantly more funds. I've joked about needing a sugar mama. What I really need is a sponsor and some better camera equipment.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
I can't help feeling like I'm due for a miracle
Its approaching 1 a.m. on Sunday morning and I can't shut my mind off which means I can't fall asleep. It might have had something to do with that nap I took this afternoon as well. Therefore, you're getting a story I've told several times before of the first time I got into this terrible habit of napping in the afternoon and not being able to fall asleep promptly at night.
As I was finishing high school, I decided I wanted to get away and start fresh for college and so I left the confines of Northwest Washington for suburban Chicago. It took a couple weeks for me to establish friendships, but once I did, my freshman year was fantastic. My parents, however, were so distraught at being that far away from me that they decided to move to Michigan that following summer. At least, that's the reason I choose to believe. Either way, once spring semester ended, I got one last week in Washington and packed up and headed out to Michigan and it flat out sucked. It was pretty terrible for all of us out there to start. We didn't know anyone, we didn't know what to do and for the first few days I was out there, we didn't even have most of our stuff. It was boring. I missed my friends from high school. My best friend from college was in California and my girlfriend was in Wisconsin and I started a countdown until I got to go back to school on day two of summer vacation. The only thing getting me through were the nightly AIM conversations with my girlfriend.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to where I've at least got my job at Soundoff, which is a testament to prayer in itself, but that story isn't being told now. I've also moved out of my bedroom on the top floor and onto a spare bed behind a curtain (sheet?) in a corner of the basement. I couldn't tell you why I did it; I couldn't have told you why I did it then, but its what I preferred. Perhaps its just what I was comfortable with since my room at home in Lynden was on the basement floor as well. Anyway, I was working first shift with my hours being something like 7:00-3:30 and then since I had nothing to do, besides the occasional run or shooting hoops by myself, I'd take an afternoon nap. This became a vicious cycle I couldn't get out of. I took one nap and then couldn't fall asleep that night and end up with only four or five hours of sleep. Soundoff was definitely a job I needed, but it certainly wasn't work that was going to challenge me so my energy was spent just getting through the day and then I'd come up home and end up napping again. I tried so hard to break that cycle. I consciously fought the urge to nap, but it didn't matter. Even on the days when I was able to keep myself awake all afternoon, there was still an ingrained tiredness that I had to fight through and when I got through that, I'd be awake and the next thing you do, I'd be laying in bed, staring at the clock as it tells me its one in the morning and I have to be up at 5:30. It was a miserable experience and I hated it and about the only thing that could compare since then would be the loneliness of my first year of grad school. That summer was even the first time I struggled with a nihilistic worldview. Why fight this when life is ultimately meaningless? However, even in that vortex of suck, something wonderful emerged. In the times when I felt like I was hitting rock bottom, I still turned to prayer and a tremendous tranquility and the most assured peace I've ever felt would come over me. I would literally (yes, literally) feel my soul and my entire being being held oh so gently in the palm of God's hand. I could feel the curves of his hand as I nestled there and He assured that me that even though everything was awful and nothing like what I wanted it to be, that I was taken care of and that nothing could possibly come between Him and me. The nights when this would happen had such a powerful effect on me that when I first recanted this story at a GradIV Bible study some five or six years later, I had to fight back tears as I told it. To this day, its still the closest I've ever felt to my creator.
Experiences such as that are the reasons why no matter how deeply I ever get involved with science and all of the people there who want to wish away God, I never will join them. I had one week in grad school where I had the audacity to tell God that I was going to just stop believing He existed. That lasted for about an hour. I've had a good friend ask me if I would be a Christian had I not been raised one. Honestly, the experience most likely would have been different had I not been a believer at the time, but why change history? With the experiences I've had and the knowledge that God can manifest Himself to us in any way He so desires, I know that He's there and He's in control.
That's my story. I'm going back to bed. Good night all.
As I was finishing high school, I decided I wanted to get away and start fresh for college and so I left the confines of Northwest Washington for suburban Chicago. It took a couple weeks for me to establish friendships, but once I did, my freshman year was fantastic. My parents, however, were so distraught at being that far away from me that they decided to move to Michigan that following summer. At least, that's the reason I choose to believe. Either way, once spring semester ended, I got one last week in Washington and packed up and headed out to Michigan and it flat out sucked. It was pretty terrible for all of us out there to start. We didn't know anyone, we didn't know what to do and for the first few days I was out there, we didn't even have most of our stuff. It was boring. I missed my friends from high school. My best friend from college was in California and my girlfriend was in Wisconsin and I started a countdown until I got to go back to school on day two of summer vacation. The only thing getting me through were the nightly AIM conversations with my girlfriend.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to where I've at least got my job at Soundoff, which is a testament to prayer in itself, but that story isn't being told now. I've also moved out of my bedroom on the top floor and onto a spare bed behind a curtain (sheet?) in a corner of the basement. I couldn't tell you why I did it; I couldn't have told you why I did it then, but its what I preferred. Perhaps its just what I was comfortable with since my room at home in Lynden was on the basement floor as well. Anyway, I was working first shift with my hours being something like 7:00-3:30 and then since I had nothing to do, besides the occasional run or shooting hoops by myself, I'd take an afternoon nap. This became a vicious cycle I couldn't get out of. I took one nap and then couldn't fall asleep that night and end up with only four or five hours of sleep. Soundoff was definitely a job I needed, but it certainly wasn't work that was going to challenge me so my energy was spent just getting through the day and then I'd come up home and end up napping again. I tried so hard to break that cycle. I consciously fought the urge to nap, but it didn't matter. Even on the days when I was able to keep myself awake all afternoon, there was still an ingrained tiredness that I had to fight through and when I got through that, I'd be awake and the next thing you do, I'd be laying in bed, staring at the clock as it tells me its one in the morning and I have to be up at 5:30. It was a miserable experience and I hated it and about the only thing that could compare since then would be the loneliness of my first year of grad school. That summer was even the first time I struggled with a nihilistic worldview. Why fight this when life is ultimately meaningless? However, even in that vortex of suck, something wonderful emerged. In the times when I felt like I was hitting rock bottom, I still turned to prayer and a tremendous tranquility and the most assured peace I've ever felt would come over me. I would literally (yes, literally) feel my soul and my entire being being held oh so gently in the palm of God's hand. I could feel the curves of his hand as I nestled there and He assured that me that even though everything was awful and nothing like what I wanted it to be, that I was taken care of and that nothing could possibly come between Him and me. The nights when this would happen had such a powerful effect on me that when I first recanted this story at a GradIV Bible study some five or six years later, I had to fight back tears as I told it. To this day, its still the closest I've ever felt to my creator.
Experiences such as that are the reasons why no matter how deeply I ever get involved with science and all of the people there who want to wish away God, I never will join them. I had one week in grad school where I had the audacity to tell God that I was going to just stop believing He existed. That lasted for about an hour. I've had a good friend ask me if I would be a Christian had I not been raised one. Honestly, the experience most likely would have been different had I not been a believer at the time, but why change history? With the experiences I've had and the knowledge that God can manifest Himself to us in any way He so desires, I know that He's there and He's in control.
That's my story. I'm going back to bed. Good night all.
Monday, July 14, 2014
I'm being myself, who are you?
I know who I am. I'm not perfect. There's no need to nod that vigorously. But yeah, I've got my rough edges and I can be a little raw and can be somewhat abrasive at times. I like this about myself as I never want to be a finished product. Certain ex-girlfriends would gladly volunteer that there are times when I can be an insensitive clod. Its not that bad though - I have been very well liked by every ex's mom though. I am the type of guy you bring home to mom. I just don't necessarily fit in with the upper class of society and I like it that way. I can't wait to have a five year old son so we can share a sense of humor because I still do love me a good fart joke. I know who I am, but I don't always identify the way I should. This comes back to something Scott preached about yesterday. Its easy to start listing off all the things that make me me, but I don't always identify in Christ the way I should. When things start to go wrong (because of things I've done), I get down on myself instead of seeing myself the way God does, as a clean and forgiven creation of His, and seriously, how awesome is that? Instead of letting things spiral further, there needs to be a point where I just shake it off and move on and try harder the next time. Legalism gets nobody anywhere. I just finished Mark Batterson's "In a pit with a lion on a snowy day" and one of the big things I took away from that was to stop worrying about all of the little things I've done wrong and to start focusing instead on all the things I can do right. We've all sinned and fallen short and we all definitely will keep doing that continuously. Knowing that though, let's do something with what we have and step up and see what amazing things we can do instead.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
With the exception of you, I dislike everyone in the room
That's right, dear reader. I love you and only you. Not those jerks that don't read this blog. Forget them.
And since I love you so much, I'm going to give you an update on the summer goals since we're about halfway through. As I'm sure you know, the Mighty Five goal has been accomplished and still was the high point of the summer. The wine glass shelf was built and I think it looks really nice. Kentucky hasn't happened yet, but Roger and I will be visiting distilleries and Red River Gorge in a couple of weeks. Mammoth Cave isn't looking real great right now, but I think I can squeeze in right at the end. I fully expect to drink Jon has brewed himself as I already have a plane ticket for Portland for the end of the month.
Now for the things that won't happen. I missed out on the fast food goal on the day I came back from Utah. I had been gone for ten days and after a fairly boring flight and then another hour drive home, I got back and it was 5:00 and I had no groceries in the house. I could have made a quick run to Meijer, but I was tired and all I really wanted to do was go through pictures and nothing else, so I made a quick Wendy's run. P90X2 also won't happen. I gave up after the first month because some of the routines just get a little long. Besides that, I missed running. I haven't given up on exercising at all though. I'm getting back into a running rhythm and will soon head down to Indy to finally get properly fitted for shoes so I can't have LDub giving me an "I told you so" if my knees literally explode in six years due to buying shoes at Kohls based predominantly on how cool I think they look. I'm also trying to get back into lifting a little to get some muscle mass back. My favorite move that I've picked up over the past year is the full lat raise. Take the standard lat raise and instead of stopping with your arms parallel to the floor, keep raising them all the way to perpendicular. This should help develop my traps and make them all good and sexy. The issue with this is that this means I end up only doing running and upper body lifting. I definitely need to go check out AU's gym and start doing some big leg exercises like deadlifts and good mornings, but not squats, because I don't like squats.
Everything else currently qualifies as a maybe right now, but I'm ready to declare the summer a success already, assuming my remaining travels are at least half as fun as I expect them to be.
And since I love you so much, I'm going to give you an update on the summer goals since we're about halfway through. As I'm sure you know, the Mighty Five goal has been accomplished and still was the high point of the summer. The wine glass shelf was built and I think it looks really nice. Kentucky hasn't happened yet, but Roger and I will be visiting distilleries and Red River Gorge in a couple of weeks. Mammoth Cave isn't looking real great right now, but I think I can squeeze in right at the end. I fully expect to drink Jon has brewed himself as I already have a plane ticket for Portland for the end of the month.
Now for the things that won't happen. I missed out on the fast food goal on the day I came back from Utah. I had been gone for ten days and after a fairly boring flight and then another hour drive home, I got back and it was 5:00 and I had no groceries in the house. I could have made a quick run to Meijer, but I was tired and all I really wanted to do was go through pictures and nothing else, so I made a quick Wendy's run. P90X2 also won't happen. I gave up after the first month because some of the routines just get a little long. Besides that, I missed running. I haven't given up on exercising at all though. I'm getting back into a running rhythm and will soon head down to Indy to finally get properly fitted for shoes so I can't have LDub giving me an "I told you so" if my knees literally explode in six years due to buying shoes at Kohls based predominantly on how cool I think they look. I'm also trying to get back into lifting a little to get some muscle mass back. My favorite move that I've picked up over the past year is the full lat raise. Take the standard lat raise and instead of stopping with your arms parallel to the floor, keep raising them all the way to perpendicular. This should help develop my traps and make them all good and sexy. The issue with this is that this means I end up only doing running and upper body lifting. I definitely need to go check out AU's gym and start doing some big leg exercises like deadlifts and good mornings, but not squats, because I don't like squats.
Everything else currently qualifies as a maybe right now, but I'm ready to declare the summer a success already, assuming my remaining travels are at least half as fun as I expect them to be.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
While I young and while I'm able all I want to do is
If you know the song (Green Day's J.A.R.), you know the lyric is left open-ended. This has been one of the issues I've dealt with this summer. I'm still fairly youngish and darn right, I'm able to do whatever I want, but this begs the question, what is it that I want to do? I certainly know its not sitting around on my couch in my underwear while watching the World Cup. There are my New Year's resolutions I still comment on, but if the best you're taking out of life is being well read and decently attractive with good taste in beer, well, you can do better. My daily $2 criteria is better, but I think the question found a much better answer in this morning's corporate prayer of confession.
"Lord Jesus, I sin - Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it, never be content with myself, never think I can reach a point of perfection. Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self. Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable, to live for thee and not for self, to copy thy words, acts, spirit, to be transformed into thy likeness, to be consecrated wholly to thee, to live entirely to thy glory. Deliver me from attachment to things unclean, from wrong associations, from the predominance of evil passions, from the sugar of sin as well as its gall, that with self-loathing, deep contrition, earnest heart searching I may come to thee, cast myself on thee, trust in thee, cry to thee, be delivered to thee."
I'm not saying I know how to do this exactly or that I could just magically switch to this mindset, but I do know there is profound wisdom there. The self-loathing and deep contrition is already there when I see the all too familiar sugar of sin and give in to tasting it again. I definitely will never be fully content with myself and I don't ever want to be. I think I'm fairly raw and will never be a finished product and I love that about myself. This entire prayer is what I need to strive for but I know I'm certainly not strong enough to do this on my own.
"Lord Jesus, I sin - Grant that I may never cease grieving because of it, never be content with myself, never think I can reach a point of perfection. Kill my envy, command my tongue, trample down self. Give me grace to be holy, kind, gentle, pure, peaceable, to live for thee and not for self, to copy thy words, acts, spirit, to be transformed into thy likeness, to be consecrated wholly to thee, to live entirely to thy glory. Deliver me from attachment to things unclean, from wrong associations, from the predominance of evil passions, from the sugar of sin as well as its gall, that with self-loathing, deep contrition, earnest heart searching I may come to thee, cast myself on thee, trust in thee, cry to thee, be delivered to thee."
I'm not saying I know how to do this exactly or that I could just magically switch to this mindset, but I do know there is profound wisdom there. The self-loathing and deep contrition is already there when I see the all too familiar sugar of sin and give in to tasting it again. I definitely will never be fully content with myself and I don't ever want to be. I think I'm fairly raw and will never be a finished product and I love that about myself. This entire prayer is what I need to strive for but I know I'm certainly not strong enough to do this on my own.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Turn off the lights and turn on the stereo
I like these monthly update posts because it means I can put up any lyrics I want for the title. Today, I'm going with Iamdynamite's 'Stereo'.
I know we just had one the other day, but I really want a good thunderstorm tomorrow night. It can't come in the middle of the night either. One of the things I definitely want in a house is a covered porch where I can just grab a drink and sit outside and admire the ferocity of a good thunderstorm where God just lets you know that He's still in charge, but you're taken care of. A little fear can be quite healthy.
Back to the update:
1) Work harder. This is a failure for the month. I got a little bit of math set up, but I definitely need to put in some decent hours this month and have better communication with Andrew as I work through it. The physical work might have gone worse. I stopped doing P90X2 because it became a chore and lets face it; I'm a runner at heart and I missed it. Once registration opens, there's a good chance I'll sign up for next year's Flying Pig Marathon in Cincy. I'm a sucker for punishment.
2) Play harder. The trip to Michigan at the start of the month wasn't much for play. The trip out to Kansas City/Taum Sauk/St. Louis most definitely was and it made me happy, even if probably wasn't worth it based on the cost and miles traveled. Getting to celebrate at Sara's wedding was a lot of fun too.
3) Travel more. So many miles put on the car this past month. Michigan, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, Racine. I satisfied this goal easily this month.
4) Read more. After finally finishing East of Eden, I made up for things by knocking out Marie Lu's Legend in the next 24 hours and Nathanael Tilton's The Blackjack Life in the following 72 hours. I've also gone through the first 200 pages or so of The Book Thief.
5) Drink better beer. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hit up Boulevard while I was out in KC, but its still been a good month beer-wise. I've got a few Oberons left in the fridge and stopped by Osgood for some good stuff with Brooke and put down a Rail Splitter the other night with the church softball team.
I know we just had one the other day, but I really want a good thunderstorm tomorrow night. It can't come in the middle of the night either. One of the things I definitely want in a house is a covered porch where I can just grab a drink and sit outside and admire the ferocity of a good thunderstorm where God just lets you know that He's still in charge, but you're taken care of. A little fear can be quite healthy.
Back to the update:
1) Work harder. This is a failure for the month. I got a little bit of math set up, but I definitely need to put in some decent hours this month and have better communication with Andrew as I work through it. The physical work might have gone worse. I stopped doing P90X2 because it became a chore and lets face it; I'm a runner at heart and I missed it. Once registration opens, there's a good chance I'll sign up for next year's Flying Pig Marathon in Cincy. I'm a sucker for punishment.
2) Play harder. The trip to Michigan at the start of the month wasn't much for play. The trip out to Kansas City/Taum Sauk/St. Louis most definitely was and it made me happy, even if probably wasn't worth it based on the cost and miles traveled. Getting to celebrate at Sara's wedding was a lot of fun too.
3) Travel more. So many miles put on the car this past month. Michigan, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, Racine. I satisfied this goal easily this month.
4) Read more. After finally finishing East of Eden, I made up for things by knocking out Marie Lu's Legend in the next 24 hours and Nathanael Tilton's The Blackjack Life in the following 72 hours. I've also gone through the first 200 pages or so of The Book Thief.
5) Drink better beer. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to hit up Boulevard while I was out in KC, but its still been a good month beer-wise. I've got a few Oberons left in the fridge and stopped by Osgood for some good stuff with Brooke and put down a Rail Splitter the other night with the church softball team.
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