And the sky opened up and started pouring rain

Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain
Like it knew it was time to start things over again
it'd be all right, yeah, it's all right, it'd be easier that way

There have been several thunderstorms this week.  You could always tell they were coming because it would be super dark at 10 in the morning still like the sun had just never risen.  My biggest disappointment is that I've only gotten one or two really good cracks of thunder and a few minutes of pouring rain, but not that super intense storm.  Driving back from the grocery store right now, the sky had turned a fairly ominous hue and I want that storm to come.  Checking the weather report is a total downer though since there is currently a 0% chance of precipitation.  I want that storm though - that storm that frightened me as a kid and I couldn't fall asleep until it was over.  I want that storm to last for at least a little while.  I want that reminder that God is in control and that he is all powerful.  Yes, it may be a reminder of my insignificance apart from Him, but that's part of the grand beauty of it all.  I've had a crappy week.  Its not because of anything that has happened to me or any terrible coincidences or the such; its all been my fault as I have a certain level of standards I'd like to keep and I've failed miserably at most of them.  I got 20 miles in on Sunday but since then I've coasted.  I haven't run since then and I skipped this morning's lifting session and I really should try to make up for it with some yoga tonight, but that very likely won't happen.  I've eaten an entire 9x13 cake that I frosted with a mixture of frosting and caramel sauce.  It was entirely delicious but terrible for me.  Additionally, I went through a bag of jelly beans.  My diet has been an absolute farce these past several days and its affecting me.  That's the great news that comes in the storm though.  All of this gets washed away because I'm not the one who determines my own fate.  If I did, I'd have been beyond hope years ago.  Instead, I like God take care of everything and all the stupid crap that I don't want to do but kinda of actually do and so I do them all gets left behind and the crappy parts of me will eventually be refined out.  I can't wait for that.