I've never been shy about admitting that I still appreciate it when I discover a student is crushing on me. Some may find it creepy, but its still a respite for me from when I never felt attractive at all in my younger years and its a nice ego boost as well. My first year out here was a struggle, most of it due to loneliness, but I got through it okay. There were a few classes that were harder than others to deal with, but their were a handful of good students in those classes that helped me get through it, including one who I thought may have something for me. (Disclaimer: I would never act on any of this. Give me some credit.) Today, I found out she's a lesbian. Yeah, I may have misread that situation a little bit.
How did I find out? One of my fellow volunteers at the food pantry directed me to an open letter on the internet that's a call for AU to start being more open towards the LGBTQ community and there's a long list of alumni who have signed it. I scrolled through it and noticed my former student's name near the bottom and her classification of herself as a lesbian. Note that this doesn't change how I feel about her a single iota. She was one of my best students and impressed me with her work and if by some odd happenstance, she came back and asked for a letter of recommendation, I'd gladly give it to her. There's another one of my favorite students that hasn't graduated yet that told me during our first meeting that she was a lesbian and I'll be extremely proud of her when she graduates because she's overcome so many other things as well. All that said though, I didn't sign the letter. I'm not fully ready to classify myself as an ally yet and for some of my potential readers, you may judge me for that all you wish. Being homosexual is not a sin, but acting on it is and I don't want to get to the point we start accommodating sin. Don't get me wrong though. I don't want to harp on this somehow as a sin worse than any other. There are certain sins I struggle with immensely and would hate to be ostracized because of them. There are still the occasional times where I struggle with fairly intense loneliness and I can't imagine how much harder that would be for something I had no control over. The church has been fairly hypocritical on this as well, with many who crucify homosexuality turning a blind eye to both promiscuity/extramarital sex/divorce. Should I identify as an ally? Probably, since I certainly won't identify as against the community, but for now, I'll withdraw any further comment.
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