Happy

So happy. No other words yet.

Staying Put

I have officially taken myself out of the housing market.  In the next day or two, I'll be turning in a least to stay at my current apartment for another 10 months.  I'm glad I got to check out what's actually available in the area right now, and I actually liked several houses, but I can't quite afford it yet.  Well, technically I could, but I'd have a hard time with an increased cost of gas due to a longer commute as well as a dramatic increase in utilities, both from having a bigger space and paying for things like trash and sewer.  So yeah, I could afford it as long as I had no unexpected costs for the next 10 years and the odds of that happening might actually be negative.  I lived paycheck to paycheck in grad school and that was tough.  I don't think I could handle it now simply because of how much stress that would add in to my life that I just don't need.

Welcome to Paradise

I'm hoping you got to witness the same sky that I just saw.  There were the blacks of the impending storm broken up by the occasional flash of lightning.  There were the bright orange and pinks of the sunrise.  And somehow, included with it all, hiding in the sparse breaks in the clouds, were the vibrant blues of what resembled a midday sky.  I don't know how it all works together, but it was magnificent and inspiring.  I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and every bolt of lightning I see and every sunset reminds me how much bigger my God is than my problems are.  The main thing I must do is just to be calm and know that He is God and let everything just run its course and I'll be fine no matter what happens.

One of the things I've been considering is the purchase of a house.  There's no specific property I want just yet, but I have been paying attention to what's out there in case anything strikes my fancy just right.  When I first started looking, I assumed I'd want to be down around the Noblesville/Fishers area, despite it being a significantly longer commute and definitely more expensive.  Now, I've moved my search further north and would prefer Pendleton or maybe even Anderson just for the sake of the cost.  Yeah, Anderson's still kind of a craphole, but in the past couple of years, its started to become my craphole.  I've grown to appreciate the city.  It certainly isn't an epicenter of culture or deep thought or even ethnic food, but it does have its benefits.  I'm reminded of that every time I go for a run through the poor areas of the city (everything surrounding my apartment complex) and I frequently get waves and shouts of encouragement from those who I wouldn't expect it from.  I remember talking to a couple of AU alums and hearing that while they were proud of their school, they wouldn't want people to associate them with the city of Anderson.  It struck me as strange at the moment, but now, its more sad.  If people want to think less of me because of the city I'm from or any similar characteristic such as that, that's their problem; I'm going to spend my time trying to make the best of the city I'm from.  I'm certainly not going to claim that I'm too good for any certain place and if I'm there, hopefully I'll grow to love it.

Pay attention to the cracked streets
And the broken homes
Some call it slums
Some call it nice
I want to take you through
A wasteland I like to call my home
Welcome to paradise

Home is what you make it.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired

Despite what the title would imply, this isn't just another post to let you know what went wrong with my body next. Instead, this is about me being tired of being tired and how pathetic my running has gotten.  I see photos on facebook of friends in CrossFit and there's a bunch of dudes there rocking abs and it reminds me that I need to get my fat ass off my couch and get out for a run again.  Today, I actually did that, and like the last run or two, I've crapped out at the 3 mile mark which is pretty utterly pathetic for me.  I then checked my calendar and realized that since my marathon on May 3, I've run for less than 15 miles.  Yeah, that's bad.  Its time to get out and start doing this again on a regular basis and get my body back to where it should be instead of just complaining about being old all the time.  Besides, getting out and running would give me a good chance to get out with my shirt off and start working on this farmers tan that is starting to get pretty ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with me

And my year of breaking continues.  Two weeks after getting my EMG done, I hadn't heard any results so I called my doctor and left a message.  A week after that, they finally called me back.  I expected there not to be anything because I haven't been feeling any effects recently.  I was surprised then when they told me that my test showed that I had carpal tunnel.  They told me my options were either to come in and get braces and some shots or they could give me a surgical consult.  I've joked a lot about free surgery since I'm already very close to hitting my deductible on my HDHP.  That said, I'm not going to be stupid and have surgery just for the sake of surgery, especially since I'm feeling very few, if any, effects anymore.  In fact, because of that, I'm going with option c), which is just do nothing except the exercises for my back from when it spasmed.  If I really focus on it, yeah, I can probably make out a hint of numbness, but its certainly nothing that I can't deal with.  Since the whole point of everything that could be done would be to get me to regain feeling in my fingers, I'm not going to do anything since I already have that feeling back.  I am a little scared to see what more they can find wrong with me when I inevitably call to set up a physical later in the month.