There's nothing here, but what here's mine

I never expected to quote Placebo lyrics, but here they are.  'All alone in space and time, there's nothing here, but what here's mine.'  Its a line I actually really like, but it does lend some insight to some of the things I was discussing in my last post.  Any lethargy I've felt over the past couple of weeks stems from this idea of control and ownership.  The first issue is that I've straight up been lazier that I should be.  I'm not spending as much time working out or reading or mathing as I should be doing and hopefully that gets rectified soon.  More importantly though, my focus has been on the wrong things.  I've focused inward and more specifically on what I do and do not have.  This is never a way to make yourself happy because true happiness is not found in things like that.  Taking this further, the good things that were mentioned were the things that dealt with being a part of something greater and working with others, namely working the food pantry and playing with the softball team.  Ideally, math will give this to me because ever since grad school started, I learned just how hard it is to do math solo and a different set of minds will usually help advance your work.  It might only be through email or Skype, but its still something resembling community.  Softball will end in a few weeks, but hopefully then that will be replaced by church volleyball or perhaps even basketball, even though I haven't played in several years.  Either way, there's still opportunities out there, so I'm going to do what I can to not focus inward, but to look outward to others

On a side note, I was fully prepared to make a comment on how self focused I was by mentioning that in my last post, I used some form of the word 'I' 18 times in the second paragraph.  This basically makes me the LeBron James of this blog.  However, it is really, really hard not to use personal pronouns when writing a blog about your personal feelings, especially when you're trying to avoid discussing others.