Saturday, March 15, 2014

If I could change, then I'd really be amazed

Its almost here.  Soon enough, I'll be in San Juan hanging out in warm weather.  I'm a little nervous about traveling solo for the first time.  I mean, there were all the trips for jobs and math and Gatlinburg last year, but this will be different because even though Puerto Rico is U.S. owned, it feels bigger since its not a state.  I'm sure I'll be fine, but right now, I'm making myself more nervous than I should be.  I'm definitely excited, but probably a little more anxious than I should be just because if anything goes wrong and I don't enjoy myself like I should, its all my own fault.  Part of it is the monetary aspect as well.  Despite the flight being relatively cheap, this has still cost me a decent amount for what essentially amounts to a 3 day vacation and I still live like I'm making twenty grand a year.  Prayers are appreciated as well as wishes of good fortune.

For reasons I don't fully comprehend, I've been in my head way too much for the past couple of days.  Hopefully, by getting away, I can get rid of some of that.  I know I was hoping for something similar last year with Gatlinburg and while it was a really good experience, I didn't really work out those issues.  Namely, I didn't feel all that close to God last time and I was hoping that would change, but it didn't.  I must have some been looking for the magic elixir that provides those feelings of depth and closeness with your creator and while the hikes were awe-inspiring, it didn't give me all of that, most likely because I came in with the wrong mindset.  That's certainly not the issue now.  Devotions have been going very well for the past month or so and I feel like the communication has been more sincere and I just feel a closer connection with God than I have for quite a while.  The next thing will be to really get back into a groove with scripture memory as that's fallen off recently.  I was hoping to grab my notecards this morning as I forgot to bring them home yesterday, but alas, Decker was locked this morning so I couldn't get into my office.

In other news, I am officially in a relationship with Tori.  Things are still obviously going extremely well, but the pace of things does cause a little alarm, simply because I'm still gun shy from the last relationship and I'm not fully ready to open myself.  I guess that means I also need to show her this blog so it doesn't look like I'm keeping anything from her.

I know I recently mentioned that I've been doing a better job of working out this month.  While that's true, I made the cardinal mistake of skipping a long run today.  I got home last night around 2 a.m. and for some reason, was up again around 7.  Add in the fact that I still needed to pack and that I didn't want to get out too late and well, I skipped over today's scheduled 15 miler which will probably come back to bite me square in the ass later.  As I write this, I also now realize that I didn't bring my running shoes with me so I can't even get in next weeks long run either unless I feel like doing it in my trail shoes and a t-shirt and shorts in possible 40 degree Chicago weather.  Oops.

Finally, I applied for an AU grant to get a three week stipend to research extensions of SDC this summer.  It'd be great to get the grant because it'd be a little extra cash for work I was going to do anyway and its another thing to add to the CV in the case that I decide to look around for something different in the next couple of years.  Once again, prayers and well wishes are appreciated.


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